Mary Sue
by Hiyuusha
Summary: Many readers enjoy a good fanfiction. But there is a threat always looming amongst its pages… that's right. You know it, I know it, and we all fear it. Yes, I speak of the Mary Sue.


**Many readers enjoy a good fanfiction. But there is a threat always looming amongst its pages… that's right. You know it, I know it, and we all fear it. Yes, I speak of the Mary Sue. It's powers are unmatched… it changes the universe to its liking, even going so far as to turn peers against one another in hopes of gaining its affection. Its powers over the mind are absolute, and none can withstand its might. This is a tale of Naruto and Sasuke, and their encounter with the monstrous creature… known only as a Mary Sue….**

**The Mary Sue**

* * *

><p>It was a warm day in Konoha. All the ninja that mattered were present, listening carefully as Tsunade Senju, the Fifth Hokage, told them the current state of affairs.<p>

"…and the Council finally decided to let up on Naruto. Congratulations," she smiled as the ninja forces clapped for the blonde Kage-to-be.

"Hehe," Naruto chuckled sheepishly, "Maybe now I can-"

"N-Naruto!" a dark-haired, white-clad ninja cried as he stumbled into the room, "You've gotta help me! It's terrible!"

Everyone paused. Sasuke, traitor of Konoha, had just stumbled into the Hokage's office asking for help.

"S-Sasuke…?" Naruto asked slowly, daring himself to believe it was real.

"There's no time for this!" he shouted, "Please, you've gotta help! For old time sake! Don't let her get me!"

"?" Tsunade slammed her fist on the table, "What's happening? Why have you interrupted my meeting Uchiha?"

"T-Tsunade," the bland shinobi murmured, panting heavily as he gripped his chest in fear, "It's terrible… Sound's border defenses… they've been broken! By now she's probably already made her way here with my old team… Kami… it's over! I'll never kill Itachi! With her here I'll be forced to forgive him!"

"Calm down!" Tsunade shouted, "Who broke through Sound's defenses? Was it Cloud? Sound? Damn it Sasuke tell me!"

The teen stuttered, looking over his shoulder several times before speaking, "No my Tsunade…" he whispered fearfully, "It was…"

Everyone leaned forward, "What is it? Who is it Sasuke?"

"Mary Sue…"

"By the Gods," Tsunade dropped her beer, "We're doomed."

"Sound the alarm!" Shizune shouted, sending ANBU from the room.

A green-haired female grinned as she stood at the edge of the Konoha's gates.

'_I'm coming for you… Sasuke-kun…'_

Several people suddenly appeared behind her.

"Yo Sue-chan, you really gotta slow down for us! You nearly left us back at the Valley of the End with that inhuman speed of yours."

The girl smiled as she stared back at Suigetsu. "Sorry Sui-kun, I just I don't know my own strength."

"It's okay! We're related after all!" Suigetsu grinned, revealing his shark-like teeth.

"Yes, yes on your mother's side," Karin, a red-headed Sasuke fangirl sighed as she walked up beside him, "You've been going on about it half the trip already. Let it go."

"No fighting!" Mary Sue yelled, rainbows and sunlight flying from behind her as she gave another one of her friendship speeches.

"HAI!" the pair responded obediently, hugging each other like best friends as Mary Sue nodded in approval.

Tsunade trembled as she watched the rainbow fade from the edge of the village, "We're too late… she's already here…"

"Get yourself together!" Shizune shrieked, slapping the blonde across the face angrily, "You're the Hokage! Stop being drunk and get out there and do something! Kami knows you need to! The only thing you've got going is your busty boobs! The other villages are looking down on us! Get out there and fight damn it!"

Tsunade nodded, Shizune's words giving her strength.

"You're right! I can do this! No Mary Sue's gonna put me down!"

The door to her office suddenly flew open and the green haired girl walked in, Kiba standing right beside her.

"Hokage-sama!" Kiba shouted, "Why didn't you tell me I had a sister? I would've thought it'd be good to know that little piece of information!"

"Oh god…" Shizune cried, "She got Kiba!"

"I'll put an end to this!" Tsunade shouted, chakra running through her fists violently as she charged the girl.

"But why would you want to hit me? I'm your daughter!" Mary Sue cried, her tears flooding the room.

Tsunade blushed, "KAWAII!"

Her posture shifted mid-punch, changing into a bear hug as she glomped Mary happily, "Mary! There you are! It's so nice to see you again!"

Mary's eyes gleamed mischievously as she turned to Shizune, "You're next… Shizune-chan…"

The apprentice screamed as the group descended upon her.

-HY-

Naruto looked up as he heard Shizune scream, "Sasuke! We have to go back!"

"No dobe! It's too late! They've been turned!" Sasuke urged.

"Damn it!" Naruto cried, slamming his hands to the ground, "I thought we were finished with these! I thought they were all eliminated?"

"No dobe," Sasuke frowned, "It was Orochimaru… he started writing fanfiction… its why I couldn't kill him. He created the Ultimate Mary-Sue."

"Ultimate… Mary-Sue?" Naruto gasped.

"She has every dojutsu known to ninja-kind. She has every Kekkei Genkai, every Bijuu… including some Ten-Tailed creature…" Sasuke explained, "I didn't get to see all the schematics… but it's certain, that we've never fought anything like this before."

"W-What do we do?" Naruto despaired, "How do we fight that?"

"We don't." Sasuke mused, "I don't know about you Naruto, but there's no way I'm facing that thing. My revenge… it's all I have left. If I fight that Mary-Sue, even that will be taken from me! I can't… I can't do that!"

"Damn it Sasuke-teme!" Naruto roared, "You still have Konoha! Even though you ran away, even though you betrayed us… Sakura-chan still… Sakura-chan still-!"

"Naruto! Sasuke-kun!" their pink-haired teammate yelled as she landed down beside them, "There you are! Everyone's worried about you!"

"S-Sakura-chan?" Naruto blinked in wonder. What was she doing there?

"Sakura…" Sasuke mused, "You…"

"It's okay! Really! Tsunade-shishou is prepared to forgive you if you just come back!" Sakura explained, "You don't have to run anymore Sasuke-kun! And your… and your wife is there to help you too!"

"What?" Naruto shrieked, "Sasuke-teme doesn't have a… a…"

"Naruto… put me down." Sasuke told him, removing the blonde's fingers from his collar, "Sakura… you've been converted haven't you?"

"Converted?" Sakura asked weirdly, "Sasuke-kun, what are you talking about?"

"What is a Mary Sue?" he clarified.

"Mary? Why she's your wife silly!" Sakura joked as if it was obvious.

Naruto gasped, "No way… Sakura-chan too…"

"You see Naruto," Sasuke mused, charging a Chidori, "This is why we can't stay here. By now she's probably gotten to everyone in Konoha… we don't stand a chance."

"Sasuke," Sakura asked, "what're you-?"

Her thoughts were interrupted by a streak of green hair landing beside her.

"Hello Sasuke-kun, Naruto-kun, it's good to see you again." Mary smiled beautifully, blinding them with her rays of light.

The pair's eyes widened in shock.

"Y-You…!" Naruto growled, "What did you do to Sakura-chan? Turn everyone back right now!"

Mary Sue raised her eyebrow in thought, "Turn everyone _back_? But I haven't done anything…" she looked at Naruto with puppy-dog eyes.

"Don't look at her eyes Naruto!" Sasuke roared, tackling the boy to the side before Mary could completely get a hold on him.

"Ugh," Naruto shook his head, "Thanks teme… I was starting to think of her as a cousin…"

Sasuke panted heavily, "We can't stay here… we'll be converted!"

"But Sakura-chan… and the others…"

"Baka!" Sasuke shouted, "How will you save them if you get caught yourself?"

That made Naruto pause. Sasuke's words had some truth to them, even if they were born from the mouth of a traitor.

"Then what do we do Sasuke?" Naruto asked in a defeated tone.

"I have a hideout… not even Orochimaru knew about it. Surely there we can think of a plan of attack."

Naruto nodded in agreement, "Alright…"

Mary Sue frowned as she looked for the pair, "Where'd they go? I could've sworn they were here."

"Don't worry Sue-chan," Ino frowned, "I'm sure Sasuke-kun will come back to you eventually."

"I… just don't know why…" Mary Sue began to cry, "he… keeps running… away… from… me! WAAAH!"

Sakura and Ino exchanged glances as they comforted what they thought was a lifelong friend. One thing was certain, when Sasuke got back, he'd have a few extra women to contend with.

Mary Sue wiped her tears on her Uzumaki sleeve, "O-Okay… We should head back. Mom will be getting worried soon…"

"But the mission…"

"We'll have to try again later…" Mary Sue frowned.

"Are you going to be alright?" Ino asked worriedly.

Mary Sue smiled sadly, "I'll be fine Ino-chan, let's just… go."

-HY-

Sasuke cursed as he slammed his hands against the old Uchiha documents. There had to be something here about how to stop her! Surely he wasn't the first Uchiha to ever come across such a foe!

"Naruto! Did you find anything?" Sasuke shouted to the blonde across from him.

"Nothing worthwhile… just some old documents about EMS and getting the Rinnegan…" Naruto mused.

Sasuke scowled, "I see… well keep looking. There must be something here that tells how to defeat her!"

'_Sasuke…'_ a voice called out to the young Uchiha, _'Sasuke…'_

"Naruto, did you say something?" the Uchiha asked.

"No? Why?" the blonde responded, blinking at Sasuke strangely.

'_The answer you seek is near Sasuke… follow my voice…'_

The teen paused. It said answers… was it referring to the Mary Sue? He rose from his chair, gesturing for Naruto to follow him.

"What is it now Sasuke?" Naruto whined.

"Quiet dobe, I can feel something… it's close…"

'_Sasuke… turn around Sasuke… T_URN AROUND!"

Sasuke's eyes widened as he spun on his heel, coming face to face with an illusionary crow.

"I see you've found me, Sasuke." The crow spoke with Itachi's voice.

"ITACHI!" the Uchiha roared, holding back his urge to kill the crow with all his might.

"I've come to help you… the answer you seek, you won't find it here." The crow explained, "Mary Sues cannot be defeated through ordinary means. You need to appeal to a higher power."

"Like… Jashin?" Naruto asked, earning a smack from Sasuke.

"No Naruto-kun," the crow spoke to him, "No… I am referring to the powers of the author."

"The powers… of the author?" Sasuke asked.

"That is the only thing that can defeat a Mary Sue. You must write your own story, with an even _greater_ power! But I warn you, beware your creation, lest you end up like Orochimaru…"

Sasuke shivered, remembering what had happened to the White Snake once he completed his fanfiction. He had been destroyed by his reviewers… his reputation torn to shreds… Never again would Orochimaru write. The world of Fanfiction was indeed cruel.

But then again, when did Sasuke care what others thought?

Grabbing a pen and pencil from the old Uchiha desks, he and Naruto began to brainstorm.

"Abilities:" Sasuke wrote, turning to Naruto for ideas.

"Well he's got to be strong…"

"Right," Sasuke wrote it down, "Strong."

"Oh! Maybe he should have Mokuton like Yamato-sensei!" Naruto thought aloud.

"That wood stuff…" Sasuke mused, "I don't know…"

"Oh come on, you haven't even contributed anything yet! What're _you_ gonna give him? Sharingan?"

…

"Actually… that's not a bad idea," Sasuke retorted, scribbling down Sharingan on the sheet.

"In that case why not make it _Itachi's_ Sharingan, I mean, he has all that Mangakyaou stuff goin on right?"

"It's Mangekyou Naruto, and fine… as much as I hate to do this…" Sasuke added it to the scroll.

"Alright what else?"

Sasuke frowned, "We could give him…" he paused, _'Why didn't I think of that earlier?'_ "Naruto!"

"Y-Yeah Sasuke?"

"I know what'll we do! We'll give him all of Mary Sue's powers, but to an extent where not even she could handle him! But to make sure he doesn't go wild… we'll make it so he only lives for destroying Mary Sue, and once that's done, he'll eliminate himself!"

"Yosh!" Naruto said in Lee-like fashion, "That's a great plan, Dattebayo!"

Sasuke quickly scribbled all that down on the scroll, "Alright… here we go…" he channeled chakra into the scroll, laying it down horizontally as the seals across its top began to glow.

"Here he comes…"

"What do we do?" Naruto murmured, staggering back.

Sasuke grinned, "Just watch…"

Light exploded from the scroll, and a figure rose from its depth, his dark orange hair waving rapidly through as chakra spewed around him. His smooth skin, his delicate yet powerful hands… yes… he was the epitome of sexiness.

"You are Gary Stu?" Sasuke asked slowly.

The figure nodded.

"Why are you here?"

The figure's eyes shifted to those of Itachi's Mangekyou Sharingan, "To eliminate Mary Sue."

Naruto grinned, "This guy looks badass!"

"Of course he does," Sasuke smirked, "I based him off myself."

Naruto face-palmed.

-_Two Weeks Later-_

And so Gary Stu and Mary Sue stood across from each other at the Valley of the End. Only one could win, and the match would decide the fate of all the Naruto world.

On one side, Mary Sue's hypnotized subjects, composed of the majority of the Shinobi Nations…

On the other, those who still carried free will, denying the existence of the Mary Sue for all to see.

The match began… and the pair had it out in a downright epic battle. Explosions rained across the valley, and typhoons and Bijuu fought it out by their master's side as the battle continued on…

And on…

And on…

"How long is this thing gonna take?" Naruto asked.

They had been there for three weeks already, and neither showed any signs of slowing down.

"Damn… the power of the Mary Sue is indeed a sight to behold… still, we made Gary Stu stronger… so it's only a matter of time…"

Naruto nodded, turning back to the fight. Gary had just slapped Mary into the side of the mountain.

"Oooh… that had to hurt." Naruto winced, "Think it's over?"

"Of course not dobe, Mary wouldn't go down that easily."

He was right. Seconds later Mary had risen back up, her body encased in some sort of chakra skeleton.

"What the hell is that?" Naruto asked.

"I don't know… but it looks dangerous…" Sasuke frowned.

Gary smirked, "Hmph, resorting to Susanoo… pathetic…"

He hands shined with light as he began creating a combined jutsu in his right palm. With his strength, he'd easily be able to crack through that chakra shell.

Mary stared at him, "Gary!" she roared, flying forward as her Susanoo swung its blade.

"Mary!" he roared back, flying forward as he charged his jutsu, "It's time to go back where you belong!"

"Where's that Stu?" she asked.

"My memories!" Gary roared, plunging his fist forward, "Fuuton: Rasendorimaterasu PAWNCH!"

Mary screamed as the jutsu blasted through Susanoo, slamming a hole right through her bland wicked heart. A sphere of white light engulfed the two, and before long, they were gone.

"Is it over…?" Naruto asked.

Sasuke nodded, turning off his Sharingan, "Yes dobe… it's over…"

…

The End.

* * *

><p><strong>Review!<strong>


End file.
